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back to my weekly mysore classes…

i think i am feeling the first crisis in my dedication to ashtanga practice. my body is currently not reacting all too well. not too sure if it’s the winter cold or winter blues. last year i had a real bad pain in my lower back but i discarded that as a reaction to taking up – not ashtanga as such – but a physical practice in general. anyway, i went through it and enjoyed the rest of the year. well, until december -then it has hit again, specially during holidays when i decided to take a break. getting back into it in january was not that easy, i struggled with the dodgy knee and painful neck. neck recovered after couple of weeks but my left knee is still not happy. this means that half-lotus is a no-go area. i am not sure what has caused this. i am not the one too push too far.

my knee has thrown my practice a bit. i struggle to concentrate and, even if i do not want to admit it, the knee thing irritates me. my body does not feel mine – it feels disconnected. my breathing is all over the place and i just struggle.

i know that i should just take it easy and breath into painful body parts but i guess my practice is not that much ‘on the inside’ as i thought. ah! moving around the house with grunts of an old person with stiff joints is not a very desirable trait.

so i started thinking the other night would it not be better to get back to swimming and give ashtanga up? it just makes me tired in my head – i can’t shake the tiredness off. maybe it’s that human (well, mine) characteristic of taking this as a defeat and giving in too soon.

today i want to keep going. maybe i should have a private word with ganesh 😉